Ooh, it’s starting to get tougher already. Today’s writing assignment is open to interpretation. The task is to select one word that speaks the most to you from the six words given below and let your mind do the talking and your pen do the writing:
I was honestly stuck between two words : Regret and Uncertainty. When I started writing about Regret, I realised that the content was very similar to another post of mine which is scheduled for a later date. So here’s my take on Uncertainty:
Do you feel lost sometimes? No matter what your age is? I feel like I’ve been at perpetual crossroads for the past 15 years of my life and I honestly don’t know where I’m headed even at my current age when I should have figured things out by now. Hell, I should have figured things out 5 years ago but I didn’t. Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m a late-bloomer, maybe I’m a slow learner but whatever it is, I hate not knowing, especially now when it feels like time is passing rapidly and quickly like sand through my fingers.
It’s not so bad as the previous years though. Taking control of some key areas of my life, starting slowly and learning from my mistakes is helping a lot. It feels good to know what you do want eventually in life, as opposed to fighting the things that you don’t want.
I know that ultimately, the reins of my life’s carriage are in my own hands, but knowing how to control them is a skill that comes with practice. And realising that old habits are not replaced overnight. It takes a lot of patience and persistence.
Sometimes, the evil twins Mr. Procrastination and Mr. Failure Fear keep rearing their ugly heads now and again. Mr. Procrastination is worse though. He just holds me far behind till Mr. Failure Fear comes and knocks me out. I just want to shut them in a box and bury them deep in the bowels of the earth where they cannot get to me.
Some people say it’s okay to not know. And some say it’s necessary to always know where you’re going. I have done the not knowing and I can personally say it’s not as nice as it sounds or as fun as it looks in movies. Or maybe I’ve been doing that wrong too. So that’s why I want to take the second option now and hope it leads me to a better place.
However, every now and then, I feel uncomfortable and breathless. So afraid that I will fail before I even begin. So fearful of not knowing how to do things and how to get to wherever I want to go. How do I control my anxiety though? How do I stop that panicky feeling from emerging? I have to keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time. And to remember that even though there is no time to waste, there is no need for haste either.
Of course, the best of plans can get waylaid. If plan A fails, then it’s all about how you take things in your stride and move on to plan B, C and D that matters. Something that I still need to continuously teach myself and practice.
To end with a quote by Eckhart Tolle that brings some solace to my anxious self, “When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” And, that just makes me feel so much better.